March 2008

Page 3 from: March 2008

...probably sound familiar. Some weeks ago, my wife Helga and I had an appointment in a city where we had been before. The car’s GPS was not working but, prior to leaving the house, I had already located the street we wanted on a map. However, ...

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V I E W P O I N T

To all you couples out there, the following storywill probably sound familiar. Some weeks ago,
my wife Helga and I had an appointment in a city
where we had been before. The car’s GPS was not
working but, prior to leaving the house, I had
already located the street we wanted on a map.
However, finding it proved to be more difficult than
expected.

I was driving around without any plan, hoping
that by accident we would hit the right street. After
15 minutes of silence, Helga suggested: ‘Why don’t
you pull over and ask somebody to point you in the
right direction?’ Now that was a direct attack on my
male pride. ‘I don’t have to,’
I snapped back. ‘I know
where we are and we’ll be
there in a minute.’ Helga
gave me a look that told me
she had little confidence in
my road-finding abilities, but
she managed to keep quiet.
After another 10 minutes of
fruitless driving around, she repeated in a flat tone:
‘Shouldn’t you ask someone for directions now? This
may take us hours.’ ‘You’re right, dear,’
I sighed and pulled over, asked a pedestrian how to
get to our destination which we then reached within
five minutes.

But in my heart, I regretted having said: ‘You’re
right, dear.’ What I would have like to have done
was to make Helga understand why we men behave
the way we do. I should have told her: ‘Because I’m
a man, I will drive around for weeks if I have to, but
I’m not going to ask somebody to point me in the
right direction. I know where I’m going.’

‘Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the
car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after
hypothermia has set in. Calling the automobile club
is not an option.’

‘Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running
very well, I will pop the bonnet and stare at the

engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another
man shows up, one of us will say to the other:
“I used to be able to fix these things, but now with
all these computers and everything I wouldn’t know
where to start.” We will then drink a couple of beers
and break wind as a show of brotherhood.’

‘Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need
someone to bring me soup and take care of me while
I lie in bed and moan.’

‘Because I’m a man, when one of our household
appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it
apart, despite copious evidence to suggest that this
will just cost me twice as much once the repair per-

son gets here and has to put
it back together.’
‘Because I’m a man, I must
hold the television remote
control in my hand while
I watch TV. If the thing has
been misplaced, I may miss a
whole show looking for it.’
‘Because I’m a man, there is

no need to ask me what I’m thinking about. The
true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, sport or
sex. I have to make up something else when you
ask, so just don’t ask.’

‘Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing
is fine. I thought what you were wearing five min-
utes ago was fine too. Either pair of shoes is
fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. It does
not make your rear look too big. It was the pasta
and potatoes and cocktails that did that. Your hair
is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?’

‘Because I’m a man – and this is, after all, the
year 2008 – I will share equally in the house-
work. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the
cleaning, the vacuuming and the dishes, and I’ll do
the rest. Like wandering around in the garden with
a beer, wondering what to do.’

I sincerely hope that all the women reading this
will now have a better understanding of men.

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Editorial con sul tant

Ian Martin
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Contributing edi tor

Alfred Nijkerk
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Contributing edi tor/Consultant tech nol o gy

Prof. Ir. Wijnand Dalmijn, Technical
University of Delft, The Netherlands

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Jim Fowler, Helga Fresen, Lydia
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Cars – and car-related matters – can literally drive us
mad. But they can also serve to highlight some of the
most striking aspects of male psychology….

Because I’m a man

‘You look fine.
Can we just

go now?’

Manfred Beck
Editor

BIR

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